I’ve been revising the structure of this site lately. Extending the Minima theme so that the blog can have a separate page, title and description from the landing page. Instead of just molding it for my own purposes, I’ve effectively created a customisable feature that incidentally gives me what I want.

I might even submit a pull request, who knows.

I’ve realised I’m subconsciously afraid to break things. When something’s working, everything is in its proper place. To make it behave differently, I must pick it apart – and only then can I put it back together. I must break it before I can fix it, as it were. So I hesitate. I don’t like to break things.

But then I come to a point where I just begin. I create a branch, tweak some lines of code here, then some more there, pull it up to see the result, dive back in, and before I’ve fully realised what’s happening, I’m midflight. The only way down is to land this bird.

And on the way down, I generalise, abstract, featurise.

So now, this.

But it’s not just this site that’s under construction. I am as well. Have been, for the past almost ten years. I’m 51 and am constantly questioning everything. I’m just beginning to get to grips with who I am, what I want, what drives me. What my craft is.

I aim for this site to be one if the vehicles to help me get me to where I see myself in a few years.

Eventually, once construction’s done.

(If it ever is.)